in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
