I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Randomize
