I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
