North Korea, Best Korea!
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
