My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize