Yo dont text me then not text me
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
