if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
