if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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