Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
