You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
