Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I think my vagina is haunted
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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