fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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