Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
