I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
