Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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