I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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