Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
