brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
