Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Pants are for mortals
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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