maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize