When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
