My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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