I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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