now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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