it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
