just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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