Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
