This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
i've created a new STD.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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