he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
