Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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