But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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