guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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