i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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