my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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