we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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