Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
