Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
My dick has a subreddit
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
