Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
