I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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