my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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