yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
