we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
