you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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