Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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