I'm gonna have a badass scar
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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