I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
