we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize