Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
