this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
