My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
