Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
