id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize