It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
