I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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