Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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