Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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