if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Ladies don't puke and tell
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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