1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Is it penis luge time yet?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
