Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
