I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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