so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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