I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
