I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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