I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
someone owes me an orgasm
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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